Feminism and Equality

So, I recently came across this picture:

A year ago I would have agreed to this 100% without doubt. But then when I saw this today, I thought about it and went like, “Hang on, but why can’t we help our partners when they are in need?”

Normally we were brought up to believe that men were the providers. They buy everything in the house starting from groceries every month to that dream car while we take care of the family. But haven’t we been fighting for this to change?

According to the Oxford dictionary, Feminism is the belief and aim that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men. Or in other words, fighting for women to be equal to men in every way possible. This includes job opportunities and house chores.

But while fighting our way to the top, should we be dragging men down like this?

Because, pardon me if I am wrong but, if we do put them down then we are not really making our way up but simply pulling men down so they can either be on the same level as us if not below. That would mean we are not doing anything positive and influential.

Life has come to a point where both the husband and wife have to work to survive in this world. They both come back home exhausted. Some men are starting to realise that women are not automatic machines and indeed do help out at home. Equality.

That also means however, that women should also lend a helping hand whenever needed, even if it is money wise. If they can change a nappy and clean the house while you are doing laundry, you should be able to take out that 20% needed to buy that family car you have always wanted.

My point is, we should all shine without dimming our partners’ brightness.

Imagine if a man said this, “You should never help a woman with chores. A woman is not a woman if she has to keep asking for help.”

How do you feel?

You're useless!

Congratulations to me!

:D

Due to the #feesmustfall strike I managed to take time off my studies and actually watch soapies (according to spell check, that word doesn’t exist. Probably the dictionary too but we use it in South Africa so eff it). Granted, I only watched the first few minutes of the latest episodes and got bored so I switched to a channel about removing blackheads instead (I’m weird, I know).

Anyway, there is something that I caught on Generations the Legacy. It was a scene of a woman and her father and they were discussing her husband’s fertility. According to her, his sperm is “useless”. Btw that means he’s infertile but that was just rude! I can accept the fact that some things don’t work out for people but to call them useless is just downright terrible. The word to me is like an insult.

For example, I have had my own experience with this particular insult. Back up story (in a summary), there was this guy who decided it was a good idea to call me that because I wouldn’t agree to sleeping with him. I mean, I totally get it. It must be frustrating to have such a burning urge to do something and not be able to do it, especially if you have someone/something for you but come on, we had barely been dating for a month and you had not really given me something to daydream about, i.e. you were not appealing.

Advice to the guys, if she’s potentially the right one and you want her to give herself to you willingly, stimulate her mind first. It’s a turn on.

Works with some girls anyway.

Where was i?

Oh yeah, I let him go because it was disrespectful.

So if everyone could stop using the word ‘useless’ unnecessarily please. That ish hurts like a…you get the picture. Imagine being told your sperms are useless. Gosh!

 Anyway this was just my short rant. Leave a comment down below, tell me how you feel.

Lost and Found review

We all at some point in our lives get to a point where everything just decide to get sour, where we get to go through this terrible experience of depression. Today I’m going to talk briefly about another man who shared his experience of depression in a form of a book. I personally have never done a book review before, this is my first of many to come. So bear with me, it might not be as great as one you’ve read elsewhere (written by a professional), however I do believe I will get better at it in time. The book has 0 reviews and 12 ratings on goodreads, now that makes it more challenging and very interesting because I happen to be the first to write a review for this book. So here we go.

Title:  LOST AND FOUND
Subtitle: My journey to hell and back
Author: Mike Limpkin
Publisher: Human and Rousseau (Pty) Ltd
Place of Publication: Cape Town
Publication: 1995
Pages: 163
ISBN number: 0-7981-3406-2

Foreword written by Dr Bernard Levinson

This is a non-fiction book, a story of a man who has everything a man could ever want in life. A beautiful wife who supports him in all he does, who encourages his dreams and aspirations, and most importantly; pushes him to be the best she knows he has the capacity to become. She is a speech therapist. They have two beautiful kids, twins of 5 years old and he had now become one of the leading admen in SA and Canada. Every advertising company would Love to have him on board, he is a wanted man- he is that good.

South Africa is where his family resides, where he was born and raised; it is where he invented himself. He graduated at Wits University and started out on his journey to become the best there is in the ad business. Soon after graduation he gets a job at Grey offices at Rosebank in a company called Colgate Palmolive, as a Product Manager. He had a small direct selling business already when he got the job. He had honours degree in Marketing- he was a credible- He was good. Few years following his appointment he joins Grey Phillips as a senior client service director.

He does pretty well there too, then the fairytale begins. He sends applications to 22 companies in Canada, out of all the companies he got contacted by one of the biggest in the list, Ogilvy and Mather- one he never considered could take him in.

You could say that all the others didn’t call him because even the owners were intimidated, they couldn’t afford him . His family joins him there and starts a new life. They get there, settles well, the kids settle in school; his wife finds a job there too- Lovely fairytale. He thrives in his new job, he was so good you would want to bewitch him or suck his dick to get some of that greatness he had in him. Okay, let’s get to business now. 
Everything he touched in the ad world turned to gold, every company escalated as soon as he joined it, you’d swear he is on drugs or something. All is well, his wife convinces him to buy a house there, they do. 

Then out of the blue,  he is hit by depression. Out of the blue, everything is going well and all- then the unexpected happens. Such a strong man of such intellect, who doesn’t need anything. He started underperforming, isolated himself. He went from doctor to  doctor, psychiatrist to psychiatrist, physiologist to psychologist. No change, no one could help him. His wife started to be angry with him because he was shutting her out, he felt sorry for himself- while having so much pride that he didn’t tell his employers about his condition. He suffers alone for a long time, then by the fear of losing his wife, he decides to tell his bosses. He thought they would be angry or disappointed, actually they did the complete opposite. Knowing his capabilities, they couldn’t let him go, they gave him leave to sort himself out. Two weeks holiday in Disney Land together with his family, at the expense of the company- he was good- just depressed they believed. He came back from the holiday still the same, actually worse. Clients lost faith in him due to the incompetent energy he now portrayed. They had to let him go. They did, his condition got worse. He had a reputation, that worked in his favour as he got a call from another company to join them as a director. He did join, three months were good and then he portrays negative energy again.

In 6 months he is out of work again. Hilary, being the amazing woman that she is, carries the family on her shoulders. She takes care of her husband and kids while also having to take care of herself. Mike gets Lazy, he stops trying. Everything he used to Love now means nothing to him, he becomes a clean hobo. His wife gets pissed, she threatens she would take the kids and leave if he doesn’t get his shit together. That threat did help him, he decides to join a small company-thinking maybe he will find himself in a small enterprise. He went for three years, company after company, emotionally abusing his wife because he didn’t get help. You cannot help a man who doesn’t think he needs help. He loses the job again in less than 3 months to join another big ad company, he believes his skill is getting messed up in the small company he joined. He loses it again and finally his wife chase him out, the story begins again; doctor to  doctor, psychiatrist to psychiatrist, physiologist to psychologist and still no help at all.

Looking at this man, you could say he is crazy to be depressed. He visits his mom in Johannesburg who now was dying from cancer. Even on top of the experience, she still manages to inject strength into his son. He goes back to Canada and moves back in with his family a better man. They decided after some time to move back to SA. They did, and moved into his daddy in law’s house.

Just using your imagination: What do you think happened after this?

Never tell yourself that you do not know

So I am studying IT and currently, we are focusing on programming. Now, I am not going to lie and say it is the easiest module/subject ever, it is not. My friend keeps on reminding me that every time we may be practicing or doing an assignment. She keep saying to me “I do not know these things.” and indeed at some point she may be blank but most of the time after I or the lecturers have explained a particular concept she will go like, “Oh I remember/ know that.”

This is what I always tell her “You actually know a lot. You just tell yourself that you don’t.”

 

Here is the thing, you will not know anything if you keep telling yourself that you do not understand or do not know. In a way you are conditioning your mind to get used to the fact that you are clueless.

Your mind is like an unlimited storeroom. Everything you learn is kept there for later use. Yes, everything. Nothing is ever lost really. What you need to do to acquire that particular knowledge is a key(word) about whatever it is you need and everything will come back to you. Telling yourself that you do not know is like going to the storeroom to find something, but you keep overlooking that box which is right in front of you that has the tools you need because you always go like “Nah, it can’t in there. I must not have it.” As you look in other boxes, you push that one to the back of the room and not even touch it because you just do not believe it is there.

All it takes is for you to check. That’s all. Life’s main concept is trial and error. Why don’t we apply it to everything?

You dont have to change.

Ola my people!

First and foremost, I’d like to apologize for being AWOL and also for the late post. In my defense, it’s test week and things are hectic. But I should have posted this earlier. I guess contrary to the title, I have to change and stop procrastinating.

We have different types of personalities, behaviors and attitudes. Amongst those, we have people who are down to earth. Those who are naturally sweet and opt to find the positive things about a person or a particular situation, no matter how bad things may be (optimistic).

Say for example, we have a girl who falls in love with a gangster (I’m an incurable romantic so that’s the first thing that came to my mind). All the people in the town/village they both live in tell her how bad of an idea it is to be dating this gangster. They remind her of the bad things he does. But she will continue to see him despite the negativity because she chooses to see the good part of him.

Sometimes when you are like that, you are often taken advantage of because people think you are ‘soft’ or ‘easy’. When this happens, most tend to change and become different, optimist to pessimist.

Message for the day is, “You do not have to change who you are but grow up and change the people surrounding you. Even if you see the good in them, it is not a good idea to constantly be with people who force you to change from who you naturally are. Instead, seek for someone who will appreciate you. Yes, we do have those people, you just have not found them yet.”

Next post will be tomorrow morning right after my test. Until then, feel free to comment, let me know what you think.

"Service Delivery Dependence" , Were Governments went wrong

Based on past experience with some readers, it was stated that with every flaw we as writers identify in society, we should provide a viable solution and here is one identifiable in almost every society in the world. Around the world governments provide a means  for their citizens to have a better life,  this has somehow caused a stir in thoughts from me(Julius) as i wonder, does social welfare/services etc. really help their recipients or is it a setback that just keeps the most economically vulnerable people in society in their state?

drrichswier.com

If you look at how much or the proportion they receive in social assistance, one wonders, how they even survive. for instance, in South Africa and Botswana, social welfare in the form of grants is around $100-$150 per month depending on the form of servicehttp://mg.co.za/article/2014-06-19-social-grants-beneficiaries-more-than-double-in-10-years. In reality this is enough money to feed one person
 for a month or less but do keep in mind that with regard to the kind of backgrounds people who receive social grants come from, this is to cover all the household costs and utilities like electricity.

So is government helping? Our home country (RSA) has one of the highest proportion of taxpayers to citizens. This means governments spends Billions annually on maintaining its citizens rather than helping them to help themselves. couple this with our record of the highest youth unemployment in the world and a national unemployment of 26% ,  you have the characteristics of a third world country (Not everyone likes that term this side).http://ewn.co.za/2016/05/09/SA-unemployment-rate-rises.

social.yourstory.com
My Proposal?
Instead of helping people with their daily struggles, governments from around the world should focus on enabling people to help themselves, this would be good for Developing nations since their governments have more on their plates to deal with compared to Western nations who in a way afford to provide for their citizens. This should be through provision of resources for those capable and willing to be economically & socially active in the country. Provision of incentives to those who have are already active and the promotion of social change in the country. This would mean government helps grow the economy and shrinks those dependent on it for financial support this group being the elderly, Disabled and Orphaned who make up less that 10% of the population.  Not that this has never been proposed to government or that government is ignorant, but imagine if more emphasis in every country was on such concepts. Really making human development and social change a priority.

For the hard workers.

Be driven by the self, let no external force invade you. As they try, grow to understand that being a rising star means having more than just one enemy.

photo credit  to- www.keepinspiring.me

LAZINESS OR LACK OF MOTIVATION?

I wanted to start off the week talking about something jolly and fun, something to get you in the mood like new music or an upcoming event but then I went through my pictures on Instagram. One of them had a caption that just triggered something on my mind. It was not a terrible caption really. What I said was,
“Back to school.”
One of my followers then commented, “No more sleeping late, hey.” Of which I responded, “Yeah, I am going to miss that.” 

The question I asked myself then was, “Are we really that lazy?”

I am saying ‘we’ because I know I am not the only one who feels this way. Often times we prefer not to work and just sleep, or chill and do nothing- and doing nothing is a very hard thing to do, because you never know when exactly you are finished with it. Had there been some sort of career where you actually got paid for sleeping, I am pretty sure that the majority of the youth would pile up there. Someone I know loves to say, “Being lazy is a habit. And a habit is hard to break.”

I do not think the problem is going to school. It is the work behind it, what we are going to do at school that just doesn’t sit right with us. Work.

Then again, I have heard of young people who actually live to work. Most of these students are from families who are not well off. Those who want to get out of the environment that they were brought up in. Some just want to learn because curiosity grows the more they acquire knowledge. Both of these are motivation.

And the rest of us? 

We do things because we are told to or because everyone else is doing it. We have come to a state of mind where we wait for people to come push us to do things, even something as stupid as cleaning after our own messes. We are so conditioned to this state of mind, something we always say we will do- we never do until someone reminds us that we have said we will do. We wait, like a black little girl in the dark afraid of a black cat that is not there. We want someone to come give us a push, like the old motor that have been passed down from generations, which carries memories. That kind of a motor that needs to be pushed only if the engine has been off- how typical of us youth, how typical of us that we still have the engine running and yet we need a push every time. Even this old skorokoro is way better than us, after the push- it goes, well, what about us? We have to be pushed and pushed and pushed and …  Is that then our motivation? Because if so, that is the worst possible reason we could ever have to do something. That state of comfort, how about that lonely road at least?

Had we all come from poor backgrounds, would we then all had the enthusiasm to learn? Only because we want to break the chains of being poor? Is it then being lazy or do we just have a lack of motivation?

I’d love to hear or see – in this case- what your thoughts are on this particular situation we seem to be facing. Enjoy the rest of your day.

The new writer

Hi. I’m Keaobaka Mooketsi. I am a first year IT student at NWU. I was born and bred in the North West, went to public schools, primary to high school where I eventually met my friend Batlhalifi. An inspiration, influence and blessing in my life. But less about him and more about me
 I am the new The Typical South African Youth co-writer. This introduction is a week late but that is because I have been gnawing my nails out of nervousness and excitement. I had no clue where I was going to begin. Heck, I still don’t know.

Most of the post here will be me ranting out about issues that affect us. I’m going to touch everything really. Politics, education, health, music and one thing that my co-writer does not seem to touch, love and relationships. No, it won’t be sappy, corny or cheesy. I am not a romantic. One other thing, my utmost favorite – I simply cannot leave this one out – I’ll post book reviews here and there for all my bookworms out there. And yes, I’ll even torture myself with non-fiction. What better way to gain knowledge and give it to others, right?

Everyone is different. We have things that interest each and every one of us. The main aim is to attract the youth from all provinces in South Africa and get them involved in what could be possibly everyday discussions of the world events. Luckily, I have the curiosity of a cat, perhaps more so I love knowing a lot about everything. That is my type of FOMO.

I am a writer too. I wouldn’t call it my passion yet. But I can at least structure a few sentences together and make something interesting? Anyway, feedback is always accepted in the comments and I will post something new in a short while. Until then, have fun.

The writer.

I will be uploading a post everyday from today. These will range from politics to book reviews as I am a veracious reader. I hope my inconsistency in the past does not affect my readers this time as I promise to bring only the best in information and news that affect each and everyone of us. I have a co-writer who will soon introduce herself. We will be working together to bring you the best as a reader.

Credit to Deviantart.com
"lost-in-thought"

Back.....4 Good this time.

In the past 8 months of my life, a lot has happened and that has inspired me to come back to my hobby of writing and creating waves of thought and more reading. Life in the country has been really interesting and I'm sure a lot of South Africans will agree with this. Your typical South African Youth is back with more insightful and interesting  topics which society tends to turn a blind eye to or simply ignores. stay tuned.