Working out

Ah. Gym experiences.

I am 100% qualified  to tell you about how it feels to work out in the gym because you know, I've been there a total of 9 times in the last 18 months.

Yes, I paid R200 each month just to have a tag on my keys and answer 'yes' to people who see it and ask if I workout. The idea is great. I've had it since I dated a body builder back in grade 11 and I might probably pursue it again but, not now.

When my friend and I first started out, we had an entire plan. We were going to buy shakes,  bought new gym clothes, had a timetable set for in between classes or after, the works. But it didn't work out that way.

You see, when you have a friend who's kind of lazy and so are you, a lot of plans that you make don't pan out. I mean, by now we should be shredded but eh, we learnt to love our 'stomach rolls'. 

Anywho, my first day was absolutely horrific. When you watch people on YouTube and Instagram exercising you will think that it's easy (or it was just me) but I had a hard time on the treadmill! That was the first thing we hit because 'newbies'. My friend signed up for gym months before so she had an idea on what goes on and it was much easier for her. She convinced me that aerobics would be a perfect start. We went there, I left the gym feeling dizzy and seeing stars and different coloured universe and apparently it was because I was dehydrated.

Moral of the story: you should visit your doctor before hitting the gym as they always recommend. 

We made a friend as time went on which was good and bad because now we actually left the gym feeling like we've been hit by a ton of bricks but it meant we were productive.

Unfortunately that didn't stop a lot of excuses that we had for skipping gym. Most of the time we'd skip because 'we just wrote a test and it was damn hectic' or we have a group meeting or we are on our periods. Yup, we did use that one. Another thing was that we attend different classes so when I'm free, she's busy and God forbid, we don't want to be seen alone and looking lost in a gym full of people with experience (more on that in the next post).

I have since cancelled my membership a month ago but I still owe them 200 so that's ought to be a bad credit on my side. I should really get my ducks in a row.

Anyways, tell me about your gym experiences

Story time: Stress Management workshop

I went to a stress management and relaxation workshop on Friday. FUN!!!

Initially when I went to register for that workshop, I thought I was going to find it already full. That is what you would expect when you are in a campus with over 8000 students and most of them being undergraduate and also because every person you come across either looks like a zombie or complains about the stress they have regarding academics.

When I got there however, I found out that I was the 2nd person who was registering for that workshop. Again, I kept a positive outlook on this thinking, "More people will come to register or some will just appear tomorrow morning, no big deal." Keep in mind that I have never been in a class with less than 10 students. I thought I would feel a bit more pressure because that means less people to ask and answer questions and also, I would be more noticeable.

Lo and behold, when I got there the next morning (15 minutes late) the workshop center was empty meaning I was the only person who was attending. My friend laughed when I told her this. She knows very well that I don't like being the center of attention.

Surprisingly, the workshop went well. The lady was very nice, I felt free, had a few laughs here and there, answered and asked all the questions. Of course me being me, I went off topic and asked about time management. Here is the highlight of it all:

• schedule your day ahead and include your 'chill' time.

The mistake we make is, when we make a timeline we usually omit the fun things that we want to do. Which means that even when we try and relax, we will still get worried over the work that you still have to do and when we try getting back into it, we are still tired.

I've still got time management issues that I need to address. Luckily she directed me to where I can get help on that. However, if you have any advice...please help. 

When your boyfriend gives you a new name

Most guys I've had in my life have given me a name that's uniquely theirs. From Fifi in Grade 10, Latoya in Matric and Zoey in 2016 (although  that name I gave myself as a writer but they decided to use it instead of mine). It makes me want to ask, "does my name not suit me? "

I don't know if more girls have had something like this. What I do know is in some cultures like Venda and Xhosa when you get married, your in-laws would give you a new name which I love because I feel it represents them accepting you into the family as their child. But for a boyfriend to do that?

My grade 12 Setswana teacher once explained the meaning of my name which, I have forgotten hence I can't explain it to other people so I guess that is the reason why they have their own names for me? I've always preferred my boyfriend's real name instead of "nicknames" from their friends. But that's a story for another day.

Anywho, have you been in a similar experience?

Is unique always good?

Being different.

We may tell ourselves and be told that being different is a good thing. In a world where everyone wants to be like someone else, it really is beautiful to find something so rare. In love stories, the quiet and shy girl is always the one who gets a happy ending even though she is not understood by the majority of the school body. 

"Never mind what people say. You are just fine the way you are."

But that is not how we feel. In fact, it is the exact opposite. We like being alone, doing my own thing away from the crowd. But, sometimes we crave interaction with our peers and that is a hard thing for a person who isn't normally social to do. 

We don't know where to begin most times and those seldom times when we do start something somewhere, it really does not go anywhere. It is almost as if we are aliens in our own world speaking a different language from everyone else.

I've tried it a lot of times I should be used to it but, each time it happens it leaves a bruise in my heart and my mind with questions and unsupported conclusions on why we cannot fit in. 

The girl in a love story would eventually be accepted into society and actually be able to make full on conversations with all kinds of people, strangers and friends but in real life she would probably be too shy to say anything else besides 'hi' because she is not sure how it would be received.

Is there a book to living life I haven't read that everyone else in the world has?

Why I love what I do

If there had been any doubts in my mind about my love for what I do, they flew right out a few minutes ago. You can't really blame me. In the previous year, I spent so much time studying for tests, exams and writing assignments and neglecting my hobby so much that I thought I had lost interest in it.

You know that if you have something and you do not use it, overtime it will eventually stop working. My mom didn't turn on her computer for over a year and one day when she needed to use it well, it didn't turn on.

Towards the end of last year, i believed too that my love for reading had just diminished during the course of the year because I was too busy chasing deadlines to peek at a novel or two. But over the summer recess, i had been oiling my engine just about enough to restart the car and tonight I was just reminded by Robert Thier what it is that made me love getting my head into a book and being lost in its world.

After 4 seasons or 4 very long books our protagonists finally made it to the climax we had been anticipating since the very beginning. Every chapter that was uploaded weekly had me on the edge of my seat and tonight I jumped right off of it.

The series is called Storm and Silence and is on Wattpad and Radish for free with the latter app requiring you to pay 3 coins should you want to read ahead. Also, one can buy the books from Amazon for under $5 if I remember correctly.

Anywho, I love how books have a way of taking you from reality and transporting you into its world as I mentioned earlier. Like movies, they almost always have a happy ending which even if you knew how it was going to end, the road becomes rocky towards it and it is always a different experience with each book. And a bonus, it helps with creativity. You imagining what could, should have happened is your mind creating an alternate version of the story and from there you can actually make a different story of your own stemmed from there.

Back to Storm and Silence. Although written by a male, it is in the female protagonist Lily Linton's perspective who is a feminist in the 1800s (if I am not mistaken) in London when women were not allowed to vote, work or do anything besides be a mother and wife (probably a maid here and there and other jobs that were deemed too 'feminine' for men back then). It begins with her wearing pants (because women weren't allowed to) and on her way to the voting station. She manages to cast her vote and almost gets away with it but a tiny mistake had all her work going down the drain.

She curtsied.

Outside the station before she goes in, she meets a greedy business man who hires her as his secretary (thinking she was a man) after she talked him out of buying a rundown house the seller told him was "very sound". That Monday morning, she arrived at the office in a dress and after a long time trying to persuade him to let her work for him, he agreed but on one condition: she had to dress as a man.

And their journeys continues in 4 books with a chapter uploaded every week, leaving you wanting more every time and dread the end of the chapter the moment you begin to open it.

Feminism and Equality

So, I recently came across this picture:

A year ago I would have agreed to this 100% without doubt. But then when I saw this today, I thought about it and went like, “Hang on, but why can’t we help our partners when they are in need?”

Normally we were brought up to believe that men were the providers. They buy everything in the house starting from groceries every month to that dream car while we take care of the family. But haven’t we been fighting for this to change?

According to the Oxford dictionary, Feminism is the belief and aim that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men. Or in other words, fighting for women to be equal to men in every way possible. This includes job opportunities and house chores.

But while fighting our way to the top, should we be dragging men down like this?

Because, pardon me if I am wrong but, if we do put them down then we are not really making our way up but simply pulling men down so they can either be on the same level as us if not below. That would mean we are not doing anything positive and influential.

Life has come to a point where both the husband and wife have to work to survive in this world. They both come back home exhausted. Some men are starting to realise that women are not automatic machines and indeed do help out at home. Equality.

That also means however, that women should also lend a helping hand whenever needed, even if it is money wise. If they can change a nappy and clean the house while you are doing laundry, you should be able to take out that 20% needed to buy that family car you have always wanted.

My point is, we should all shine without dimming our partners’ brightness.

Imagine if a man said this, “You should never help a woman with chores. A woman is not a woman if she has to keep asking for help.”

How do you feel?

You're useless!

Congratulations to me!

:D

Due to the #feesmustfall strike I managed to take time off my studies and actually watch soapies (according to spell check, that word doesn’t exist. Probably the dictionary too but we use it in South Africa so eff it). Granted, I only watched the first few minutes of the latest episodes and got bored so I switched to a channel about removing blackheads instead (I’m weird, I know).

Anyway, there is something that I caught on Generations the Legacy. It was a scene of a woman and her father and they were discussing her husband’s fertility. According to her, his sperm is “useless”. Btw that means he’s infertile but that was just rude! I can accept the fact that some things don’t work out for people but to call them useless is just downright terrible. The word to me is like an insult.

For example, I have had my own experience with this particular insult. Back up story (in a summary), there was this guy who decided it was a good idea to call me that because I wouldn’t agree to sleeping with him. I mean, I totally get it. It must be frustrating to have such a burning urge to do something and not be able to do it, especially if you have someone/something for you but come on, we had barely been dating for a month and you had not really given me something to daydream about, i.e. you were not appealing.

Advice to the guys, if she’s potentially the right one and you want her to give herself to you willingly, stimulate her mind first. It’s a turn on.

Works with some girls anyway.

Where was i?

Oh yeah, I let him go because it was disrespectful.

So if everyone could stop using the word ‘useless’ unnecessarily please. That ish hurts like a…you get the picture. Imagine being told your sperms are useless. Gosh!

 Anyway this was just my short rant. Leave a comment down below, tell me how you feel.